As Christmas is fast approaching, we thought we'd try to keep the tone light and be fairly brief – we hope you enjoy the comments below.

CV Horrors

We all know how important our CV is. It's our personal marketing document; without a decent CV, we run the risk that we'll never get the interview for the job we really want.

So you would think that people would be careful with the words they use when they decide to write a CV. But it appears that some don't quite take the care that they might – here are a few examples of "howlers" that we particularly like:

"Please don't misinterpret my 14 employments as job-hopping; I don't pack up unless I'm pushed."

"I feel I should mention that, for health and safety purposes, it is best not to seat me near a window."

"No actual education or experience, except for an evening class in flower arranging, in which I failed to pass."

"I posses a keen eye for detail." [Yes, but you can't always rely on the spell-checker, and there really is a plural of the word "posse".]

"Reason for Leaving: It involved the Inland Revenue and Interpol."

"I was working for my mum until she decided to move house."

"My goal is to be a psychologist but since I didn't go to college and get a qualification, I suppose I should stick to being a personnel manager."

"The company made a scapegoat of me—just like all of my other employers. I'm hoping you can do better."

"Interests: Running, editing video, cooking, writing and wondering."

"I will give the job my all so long as it does not interfere with my social life. My social life is very important to me."

(Credits: among others, websites from CV Ireland, Helium and Monster; and there are a couple from individuals we have worked with in there!)

Connect Christmas Competition

OK, now it's your turn. Have you seen any really crazy comments on CVs that challenge the ones above? A bottle of decent wine to the winner – email your entries to us at team@theconnectprogramme.com by 17 December. We'll announce a winner and try to get the bottle to you in time for New Year.

New business, new consultants

We're happy to say that we have been working with many new businesses this year, from all sectors – charities, public sector bodies and companies in financial services, transport, IT, medical technology, printing, engineering – and even the licensed trade. What they all have in common is the belief that when difficult decisions mean that jobs are at risk, smart employers know that it is good business sense to provide practical support to help people move forward positively.

We're very happy to welcome two new consultants to the Connect team. Sue Colton and Brian Copeland have joined us recently, and we'll feature them in more detail in a future edition of Career Essentials.

A different sort of Christmas present…

Now here's a gift we are always delighted to receive – words from people who land jobs and who are kind enough to tell us that we helped. This is a quote from an excited candidate:

"I got the job! I did my little 'pitch' and he offered me the job there and then. I start 2 weeks Friday - I'm so excited!!!!

Thank you so much for all your advice and help over the last few weeks, it has obviously done the trick."

Better than socks and hankies, eh?!

For more comments on what we do and how we do it, visit http://www.theconnectprogramme.com/outplacement-testimonials.shtml#casestudies

From all of us at Connect, a very Merry Christmas, and a prosperous, healthy and happy New Year!

• Back to main newsletter page

 

View our interactive brochure

or download a PDF version